Stories

My Story

I am a 45 year old female. My story is definately weird. I was different all my life. So different, that I have moved from country to country since I was 17 trying to find a land and/or culture that I belonged because I missed so much having friends and family to love me. A year ago, after watching a documentary about Dr. Temple Grandin, I realized that my weirdness is Aspergr's Syndrome. After talking with my brother, I realized he has the traits, too. That also explains why my mother was so weird, highly eccentric, with typical meltdowns, limited facial expressions. We had a very disfunctional family snce we all had Asperge's and did not know it. By talking with my brother, we shed a new light to our past, to our very difficult childhood, with a father that was exhibiting physicla violence because he worked so hard and the family he had did not 'appear' to love him. We were all three (wife, daughter, and son) autistic and could not 'connect' with each other or, even more, with him. My father left our house with all our belongings because he felt we were not worth to have that stuff he had worked so hard and bought us. That was my first traumatic experince, besides the physical and emotional abuse both my mother, brother and me suffered. They were very hard years. My 45 years have been very hard, so hard that I had to have heart surgery and 3 bypasses at the age of 43. I also have a neuromuscular degenerative disease to add to the 'fun.' On one hand, I am happy because I know what is srong with me, what was wrong with my family, what was wrong with my mother, and also reconnect with my brother. He has 3 kids and they also exhibit some ASD traits. I am not married or have kids. I never wanted any. I did not want them to suffer like I did with an Aspie mother. On the other hand, this neurological disorder is worsening (due to the pain and discomfort) the Autistic traits of Asperger's, because every contact with other people is much more of an effort and it is utterly exhausting. Chatting on line is the only contact I can still afford to have. I have an IQ of 136, speak 5 languages, have a BA in psychology and sociology, with a minor is creative writing. I can draw and paint, I am a dedicated photographer, love to travel and I do that as much as I still can, mostly alone. I have many hobbies and I never bore when I am alone.

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